So Much Fun I Lost My iPhone

withrubberchickens.jpgI went out last night. I put on my new rubber dress (thanks Jay) and I went to a bar in downtown LA. I sat there drinking martinis and feeling sorry for myself (another slave wanna-be stood me up) when the most beautiful man walked in. He was this big black basketball player. He sat down next to me and we started doing shots. Seems he was feeling pretty sorry for himself too. After a few drinks and a couple of stories we went to the bathroom together. You know I can’t go alone in this outfit!

I used him as my chamber pot and had him lick me clean. Then I got his name.

There were very few people in this bar on a sunday night. No one was waiting at the bathroom door and it appeared that no one had even noticed we went in together. I have taken it upon myself to always have magnums in my purse. I shoved him up against the wall and unzipped his pants. When his cock sprang out it almost gave me a black eye. The thing was huge. I sucked on his massive dick like it was a lolypop. Yum Yum.

I slipped on the condom and he grabbed me by the hips and lifted me onto his third leg. I’m not kidding — It was huge. I’ll say it again, it was as big as my forearm. I’m lucky I can walk today. Just as it slid into me there was a knock at the door. I tried to muffel my moans but it was no use. I was drunk, horny and having an awesome time in the bathroom. The knocking continued but was rapidly replaced by giggling and chatting. There were a bunch of women out there and they were obviously amused by my antics.

Knock Knock “I have to pee. Can you let us use the toilet?” By this point I was bent over the sink taking it from behind. I reached over and unlocked the door. A cute little blonde girl walked past us really slowly as she pulled up her skirt and sat on the toilet seat. “His tounge makes really soft toilet paper” I told her. She giggled. I told my bathroom bitch to lick her. She didn’t object. I pulled her hair back and started to kiss her when her friend came in and started freaking out.

Then things get a little fuzzy in my memory. In fact, I think I blacked out. When I woke up this afternoon I was in my own bed in a beautiful blue dress I had never seen before. My pussy is really sore and I have 18 boxes of girl scout cookies on my kitchen table. I have no idea what the hall happend. Also I can’t find my purse. It had my favorite hairbrush, some mac make up and my new iphone. Yikes, my iphone is missing. Shit Shit Shit!

It would be great if my purse turns up. Certanly it would be excellent it the smut on the ipone stays on the phone and never makes it onto the internet. I am a dirty girl but as of now I’m really not a porn star. Anybody know where I was last night? Have you seen my purse? What about the black man and the blonde? Are you reading this? Any information will help.

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