If I Had Time I Would Have A Memorial

Yesterday I had several hours to masturbate.  I stayed in bed with my vibrator most of the day.  Today I woke up and thought I would have a little AM action so I rolled over and grabbed my plug in lover, but alas the thing was dead.  NOOOOOOOOOOO!  This is horrible.  My Hitachi Magic Wand is dead.  I just got this one, it can’t be dead.  I tried it again in disbelief but to no avail, it’s gone.  Today is a very sad day.  It makes a rattling sound inside the core but no vibrations anywhere.  I tried unplugging it and plugging it in again, shaking it, and plugging it in at a different outlet but noting seemed to work.  It is dead.  I am sad.

It’s not even the first one I have killed.   A couple months ago I burned one out.  When I turned it on (already pushed up against my clit) the fucking thing burst into flames!  Needless to say I heaved it across the room and cracked into my fire extinguisher.  Fire extinguishers are fun to use but they make such a mess.  I’m sure you can picture me standing there naked with a fire extinguished vibrator at my feet.  I was something more than sad then.  More like angry, frustrated and needing a shower.  Like a lousy lay but without anyone to throw out in the hall.  Yes, I tried to plug that one back in too.  It did nothing.  I’m glad, it could have exploded, burned the building down, or worse still – it could have worked.  Then where would I be?

Anyway, in the tradition that this blog seems to be taking I’m writing another obituary – this time for my vibrator.  I loved that fucker.  RIP