Yesterday I had several hours to masturbate. I stayed in bed with my vibrator most of the day. Today I woke up and thought I would have a little AM action so I rolled over and grabbed my plug in lover, but alas the thing was dead. NOOOOOOOOOOO! This is horrible. My Hitachi Magic Wand is dead. I just got this one, it can’t be dead. I tried it again in disbelief but to no avail, it’s gone. Today is a very sad day. It makes a rattling sound inside the core but no vibrations anywhere. I tried unplugging it and plugging it in again, shaking it, and plugging it in at a different outlet but noting seemed to work. It is dead. I am sad.
It’s not even the first one I have killed. A couple months ago I burned one out. When I turned it on (already pushed up against my clit) the fucking thing burst into flames! Needless to say I heaved it across the room and cracked into my fire extinguisher. Fire extinguishers are fun to use but they make such a mess. I’m sure you can picture me standing there naked with a fire extinguished vibrator at my feet. I was something more than sad then. More like angry, frustrated and needing a shower. Like a lousy lay but without anyone to throw out in the hall. Yes, I tried to plug that one back in too. It did nothing. I’m glad, it could have exploded, burned the building down, or worse still – it could have worked. Then where would I be?
Anyway, in the tradition that this blog seems to be taking I’m writing another obituary – this time for my vibrator. I loved that fucker. RIP