Middle of the Night Infomercials

I have been staying up really late, sometimes all night.  Sandy Eggo runs middle of the night infomercials.  Your watching comedy central and then bang — infomercials.  WTF?  Tonight a “sex” infomercial  is running.  Last week it was one on enemas.  Now that the sex infomercial  is airing I decided I would let it run while writing about what I think is wrong with this.

First of all the really poorly edited and wretchedly written early AM sex program is ALL ABOUT MALE ENHANCMENT.

LOL.  As though men have a hard time satisfying women because they have little dicks.  If your dick is so small that you need a pill you should look into other ways of pleasing women.  Learn to use your hands, your tongue, dildos.  Your dick is not the problem, you are.  There is no way that you are ever going to please a woman by popping a pill.  Sex is about paying attention to your partner, not about your dick being an inch bigger.

The women on this program are assuring the viewers that they would never commit to a man who did not have a big dick.  The program is geared towards reinforcing a patriarchical  model of society. We can spend an entire TV program talking about the size of some dudes dick but we can’t teach realistic and informative sex ed to high school kids.  This is equal part sad, hilarious, and confusing.

Who are these viewers falling for this propaganda?

The women on the program are actively giggling and saying that the men who take this Viagra-wanna-be have more confidence.  Who gives a shit? Why is his confidence the main point of the big dick pill? It is not a birth control pill.  All it does is for his dick?  Oooohhhhh, Goodie!  He takes it, becomes larger, and whoo hoo his confidence is through the roof.  Hmmm, I am unimpressed.   Not a single woman on this program has talked about HER PLEASURE.   Where is the focus on female satisfaction?  No, this propaganda about male enhancement is not for female sexuality at all.  Now the enema infomercial, it was hosted by a couple of gay men.  It got me off.

Currently the show has three experts on.  They are sitting on a couch.  In comedy we play an Improv game where three experts sit in a row and answer a question one word at a time. It ends up being really funny as the three headed doctor utters silly answers to questions, one word at a time.  I saw the experts sitting on the couch and imagined them to utter something like “buy, this, product,” one word per expert.  All they are doing is swearing that the product is good.  Testimonials up, a few playboy bunnies, doctors, more testimonials. There is no show in this show, just testimonials.  A fracking hour long ad.

Pro sexual nutrients, pro hormones. These are pseudoscientific terms uttered by the experts that mean nothing.  It is all prattle. Poorly written prattle.

male enhancement drink — HA — they are selling a sex drink.  Fracking LOL

I can’t deal with it anymore, I’m changing it.  Oh thank gods — aqua teen!

It’s the one where shake gets a ton of plastic surgery and the meatball feeds his neurosis by telling him his ass is saggy and he is fat.  Now that is good writing!

2 thoughts on “Middle of the Night Infomercials

Add yours

  1. Fantastic analysis of utter shite!! It sounds horrible and disgusting. The whole thing actually sounds like a really gutter bound improv game!

    Master Shake Rulez!!!!!!!

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