I have a married friend who has a cheating husband.  He is a real sleaze ball.  He ran her credit into the ground, mooched off her for a decade, knocked her up and now he wants a divorce so he can go play his silly games with younger women.  GRRRRR.  He should watch his back.  I know where he likes to drink.  I have tools to control boys.  I am not above getting him into a chastity device and giving her the key.
I was talking to a friend of mine who is considering becoming a professional dominatrix.  She asked me how I dealt with the moral issues surrounding playing with married men in sessions.  I was a little taken aback by this question as I never really considered my end of the equation as adultery.  I told her that I am in business to make money, not patrol Protestant morals.
In this country, this massive Christian nation, people are trained to believe that a dualist monogamist relationship is the only way to love someone.  I find this to be sad and dangerous.  Over half of marriages end in divorce.  Many of them end over trivial sex based expectations that have been formed through juvenile ideals of love and commitment.
The Protestant expectations that surround love and legally bind people to one another are unrealistic.  Heterosexuality is the expected default preference.  Monogamy is presupposed as a desired way of being.  Open relationships are thought of as deviant. When people grow up into their adult sexuality they are complete unprepared for the desires that they have.  How can someone who grew up socialized to live happily ever after come to grips with their desire for kinky sex, or even a desire to have vanilla sex with another person?
In the moral obligations we enter into we are not given the options of establishing real adult relationships.  Relationships that work for people.  Monogamy is valued as though it is a natural state of events or at least something to aim towards, despite our natural inclination to live fulfilling sexualities.
How do we negotiate new kinds of relationships when people have been trained to believe in a model of sex that is unrealistic at best, and dangerous when we are not prepared to deal with it?  People are exposed to traditional relationships over and over with few, if any, examples of loving adults who have found better ways.  I think everyone should be polyamorous.  Why would you want to deny someone the pleasure of intimacy?  It comes down to the fear that someone somewhere might be having a good time.
Getting past this crime against humanity might be an impossible task.  It sure feels that way as I sit down and write about it, Bringing Americans up to speed with the idea that they can reevaluate the way the experience sex and love is not going to be an easy task.  I cannot sit back and passively watch as married people continue to live a lie about how the nuclear, monogamous lifestyle is fulfilling.  People need diversity in their loving.  Hopefully my work in this life will bring someone somewhere a new perspective on sexuality.
Fuck monogamy!  It might be alright for pigeons but it has no place in adult human relations.  I’m tired of Christens telling the rest of us how we should love.

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