Getting To Know Me

I have been getting a lot of requests that say things like “I want to get to know you” and “I want to know what is going on with you” and “I have to pay you? But I want to spend time with you and really get to know you.” Bollocks!

I spend a lot of time avoiding real personal connection. The people in my life who “know” me, the ones who know more of me than the blog, more of me than the persona have few nice things to say to and about me, mostly they think I’m an asshole.

My family, well they put up with me in a way that no one else would. My friends – friends? I really don’t have a lot of friends. I’m not only not very friendly but I just don’t have the time. It’s not like I’m saying that I don’t have time for friends but well, the few I have I have had for a very long time. They have all at one point or another told me that I was too much of a pain in the ass, so I had to go. I’m used to being told to go away, I have always been problematic, I’m a bad girl, I’m a loner. Why would I want to be your friend? I’m sure you want to be my friend, I’m more interesting than you. But why would I want to spend my time getting to know you? What do you bring to the table?

I’m not really that excited about being told to scram cause I’m a misfit, so no, I don’t have time to make new friends.

Here is what you should know if you what to “know” me:

I love yoga. I would rather be standing on one foot in a hundred and twenty degree room than getting high and watching a movie with you.

I love to read. Mostly philosophy and science fiction. Anything that even sort of falls into those categories is good for me.

I love to write. Mostly first person non-fiction narrative, but I’m quite fond of academic papers and form filling out too.

I don’t clean, I do cook, I’m honest to a fault except when asked about my age and hair color, I love to have sex but (lately) it generally requires too much personal interaction to actually make happen.

I do not like bars. I’m not interested in hanging out, getting to know you, pointless small talk, or pop-culture.

I consider myself to be queer. That is mostly interested in people who are not straight. That is straight acting, straight looking, and conforming to traditional Victorian ideals.

I am a sex worker. As an identity, I’m a sex worker. My sex life is all wrapped up in sex work. I don’t have sex with people for ‘fun” because I would rather be reading.

I masturbate several times a day. Though I actually prefer to have sex with other people, I only do so if I’m being paid. It’s nothing personal I just get nothing out of it if you expect I’m doing it “just for fun.” It’s the ‘pay me’ to fuck you aspect of the sex that actually turns me on. Without it I feel nothing.

When I grow up I want to be a stand up comic, a rapper, a writer, a teacher, and no-one special. I’m really not the sort of person you want to get to know. I will only make you crazy.

So no, I do not want to hang out, get something to eat, meet your friends, or see a movie. If you want to pay me to hang out with you please see my rates.

Thanks for understanding that I am a loner. If you happen to be one of my people, well I’m sure you’re not reading this!

Love Widow

11 thoughts on “Getting To Know Me

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      1. I didn’t know that you read philosophy.

        For some reason, it is reassuring that you masturbate several times a day.

        And I don’t think of you as a loner. You are much more sociable than I (the poster boy for introverted loners).

      2. I fake it well. I’m just as alone as you, but I have boobs, heels, and a desperate need to interact with people as a form of masochism.

  1. I’d say that’s about right, but then, you sell yourself short a bit too. But what do I know, I’m just a voice from the past.

  2. Imagine that you budget your money really carefully and you have just enough to have dinner one or twice at a week at Chik-Fil-A. You eat there not because your overly fond of chicken you eat there because it is your least expensive option. Every night you eat there the staff will tell you that it is their pleasure to serve you. You don’t really believe it but it is nice to be adressed politely.
    It certainly could be the case that the person serving you is in between jobs or going to school. It very well could be in a perfect world you would be serving them. It is nice that they are polite to you no matter the respective differences in life circumstances. It is also nice that they are polite when the previous customer really pissed them off.

  3. Your facebook says you are a lecturer at Smith College. I was wondering what class or classes you are teaching? I saw you present at the Transcending Boundaries Conference and I thought you were great =).

    1. Sadly, I’m not teaching anything right now. I’m working on my research. Thanks for thinking I’m nifty, hopefully I’ll have you in a class sometime soon.

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