I’m well educated and I have a really nice middle class job. So why in the hell do I work in seedy bars half naked doing dirty things with strange men for money? Because I like it.
I like the rush I get from meeting you in a dimly lit bar, with music so deafening that I am wearing (and hiding) earplugs. I like meeting you, a strange man who I would likely never say two words to on the street, maybe you are over weight, maybe you are not within twenty years of my age, maybe you are not the least bit sexually attractive to the non-dancer version of my sexuality (whatever the hell that might be), but in the titty bar you don’t have to be anything but ready to pay me. Sure you must have a modicum of polite behavior, and a decent amount of personal hygiene, but other than that the deciding factor is ‘are you ready to have a sexy time?’
I give you some extra dirty dances. I let your hands roam, I let you lick me, suck on me. When I look down at you, someone I just met, sucking on my tits in a dingy little club I calculate the amount of money that I am making, I think about the reality that this does indeed make me a cheap whore.
I used to do high-class escort work, now I’m in a titty bar, by choice. I could still escort but I actually get turned on in the strip club, I’m pretty hot for the self-degradation that I play in my head. I don’t know what other dancers do to ignore or enjoy this job, but I find it can be somewhat meditating. It is one of the few places I frequent where I am not expected to be smart or competent. I can relax into the objectification that all feminist literature tells me I am supposed to dislike. I can play a role: The Bimbo. I like it. I almost never have to make conversation that involves much more than me saying things like ‘wow, you are so smart,’ ‘you are so cute,’ ‘I can’t believe your wife does not appreciate what you do for her,’ and then we get on to the dirty sexy times. And they are dirty and sexy. Escort work was a lot more private. It was over in an hour. No strangers peeping in at us. Escort work was sexy but working in the clubs brings out the skeezer in me. I expect to have at least one orgasm every time I go to work, hopefully more.
I love it when you feel me up while I am grinding on you. Your hands wrapped around me like random disembodied hands in the night. I love looking across the way and seeing other dancers giving dances, some of them working too hard, others rolling their eyes at me to express a level of discontent with the experience. One night I looked across and saw too blond dancers with the same shade of bottle blond bouncing at about the same pace, backs to me, I thought I was seeing double, I had no idea who the dancers were but from the rear, side by side, in little booths so they could not see one another but I could see them both, they looked exactly the same. Later I looked across and I saw an 80s man, looked like he stepped right off the set of Miami Vice, I saw him snort a line of coke off a strippers ass. He watched me watch him. We both delighted in the voyeuristic experience of doing our dirty deeds right out there in the open.
When I am giving lap dances I always hope that you are not freaked out about how much it is going to cost, that you are in the mood to play (because I am), and that you have just the right touch. I love to have my nipples pinched, but not too fucking hard, not at first. At first I like to be built up a little. I like to have you pinch them gently then harder, tease me with it. I can come from having my nipples pinched and played with. I get wet when you suck my tits in this grimy little sin shack. I don’t do this job out of desperation I do this job because I am a fucking pervert. When I am dancing I stroke your dick through your pants. Is it a big one? Oh lucky me, we will go to the VIP room.