This dude thinks he is a special someone. He is a needy little subbie. He thinks he is a slave. He has been asking me to play with his for a while and I keep blowing him off. So the other morning he called just as I was ready to get to work. He asked nicely and I guess I must have gotten out of bed on the right side cause I was in a mood to play. I told him to meet me at a divy bar I have been wanting to try.
He got there a good 15 minutes before me but didn’t bother to call and tell me that they were closed. So I pulled up, in the light of day, to find the door locked and him sitting in his car confused.
“There,” I said “that family style restaurant” Meet me there in two minutes. We took separate cars to get across the street, LA style.
Once inside he seemed totally confused, discombobulated, like I might only want to meet in the doorway, then go someplace else. We sat down, I asked for something private, a bit further away from people. They sat us in the outer most booth that was still in the circle of people.
I sat so I could see what was happening in the joint and he could see me.
The waitress took our order. I had a beer and a salad. For him, I ordered the biggest possible diabetic coma inducing dessert on the menu.
When she brought the sugar first I started feeding it to him. Slowly at first. A bite her and bite there. Then my salad and beer came, so the lucky bitch got to take a break. I saw him eyeing the water and I moved it to my side of the table. “My Water” I told him.
I shoved another bite of sugar laced sugar into his mouth and then I put the decorative sugar top thing that only children eat, I put it right on his head. Like a hat.
People started noticing. The waitress came over and chuckled at our silly games. I ordered another beer. The manager started pacing back and forth looking at us. This dude was a mess. He has sugar coated dessert all over him. It was brown and looked like shit.
I threw the croutons from my salad at his mouth. I’m not sure he caught any of them. “Eat them off the table without using your hands” I ordered. He sucked them up despite his fat gut getting in the way of bending.
I kept jamming the chocolate thing down his hole. He was Turing red. He looked like he might drop dead from this thing.
My second beer came and I thanked the waitress for being so polite and welcoming of our silly games. She smiled, rolled her eyes as she took a peek at this bitch and told me to let her know if I needed anything.
I fed the rest of his shit like sugar to him. Then I mixed the last of the salad into the creamy mess that was left over. Chocolate dressed salad. “Eat without hands” I told him again. He gobbled it up like a dog. I laughed and poked him in the gut with my heel. “Is that your fat belly or your wanker?” I asked him. “My fat belly” he answered. “Maybe I’ll be in the mood to dig under your rolls of blubber next time” I told him.
When he was done licking the plate clean the waitress came with the check. I looked at it and told him to get out some money. He put down a $20. “More” I told him. He added a ten to the pot. “More” he put down two singles. “I need you to get two more like this” I said holding the $20 up so he could see it.
“I need an tam” he said and then he bolted from the table. He didn’t ask permission didn’t suggest anything just ran off. The waitress came over and I asked her if there was an atm here. She said there was not but that they could take debit cards.
He waddled back through the join that was full of little old ladies and pulled out his debit card. I held onto the $32 dollars and watched as he left a debit tip of five bucks.
I said nothing about it.
“Use the napkin to clean off the table” I said, “you have made a big mess and I want to be welcome here again. You can’t expect that lovely waitress to clean up after your filthy habits.” He wiped the table clean.
We stood up and I walked to where the waitressed were gathered near the coffee pot, staring at this wanker covered in a mess. “Follow me” I said to him. We walked to our lovely waitress and I handed her the $32 bucks. “Thanks for everything” I said to her. And then we went out to the lot where he got in his skimobile and I got in a Beemer.
“Will you see me again mistress” he asked. “Yeah, I think I might”
I love causing a scene.