Fix That, Buy This — Gimme!

I’m pissing in the bathtub for the rest of the night because my toilet is having a fit. It just keeps draining. I have jiggled the handle and gone into the tank, the toilet is just whining. I need this fixed asap. Additionally: My fridge is trying to die I need hurricane supplies and information … Continue reading Fix That, Buy This — Gimme!

The Entitlement of Day People

If you have been reading my blog and are wondering what they hell is up with my pissed off attitude lately I’m here to answer your burning itchy question. A bunch of shit is irking me. It’s not really your fault, dear reader, though I’m sure that my random diatribe might suggest otherwise. Don’t get … Continue reading The Entitlement of Day People

Fuck The Patriarchy — Where Are The Scissors?

My flight was at 6 Am. The first train to logan was at 530. I spent the night in the airport with Lorelei. I got in a wheelchair and was wheeled to my gate. I took a sleeping pill and woke up in LA at 11 AM. I went to the post office. I was … Continue reading Fuck The Patriarchy — Where Are The Scissors?

On Being a Fat Stripper

Let me start off by saying that I am not fat. I do not have a complex. I do not think I am fat. For the industry I am often considered to be fat. So, now you know. My body is actually quite lovely. My measurements are 36D, 25,40. I have a tiny middle with … Continue reading On Being a Fat Stripper

I Have Food, This is Good

After reading my rant, sure as shit, some bitches came climbing out of the wood work all butt hurt saying “I’m a regular, no?” My response of ‘who is this?’ Didn’t exactly please them. There is no fighting the fact that I am in a bad mood. I have all these big plans but every … Continue reading I Have Food, This is Good

A Rant

I’m just gonna bitch about my life for a second and you, dear reader, will either read it, ignore it, label me an entitled little while girl and move on, or whatever the fuck you want. Who knows maybe it will be your favorite and you will print it out and send it to people … Continue reading A Rant

I am sorry liver. That was totally uncalled for. Please forgive me.

Some time back I assumed that finishing school would make me a little batty. I have been a career student for a long time. Being a never quite finished graduate student has become part of my identity. I assumed that I would be a mess when I finally finished. I was right. I have been … Continue reading I am sorry liver. That was totally uncalled for. Please forgive me.

Someone To Kick In The Balls

Shortly after I tweeted that I wanted to kick someone in the balls all night, mr sore nuts came skipping into the building. I’m sure he had a time of finding of me. Luckily he knew to ask for The Dancer Friday, because otherwise he never would have found me in the packed club. There … Continue reading Someone To Kick In The Balls